A group of girls I saw in the natural food store were naked. I stared at them when they weren't looking. Beautiful curves and contours. I now understood why Porsche cars had the curves on the fenders - to attract lonely perverted men to them, like myself.
I then had the courage to walk over and ask them why they were naked. The girls replied that in order to live a natural life, with natural food, and natural ingredients, it was essential to be naked - after all, being naked is most natural.
Well, I'm sick of all the "natural food" BS floating about. Natural peanut butter, natural raisons, natural naked girls (mmm). What the hell did you think peanut butter was made of, plastic synthetic material? Sure, some peanut butter contains just peanuts without any other ingredients, while other peanut butter contains a mixture of Peanuts, Sugar, fat - but that doesn't mean one is natural and the other is not! Sugar comes from beets, which are natural. So technically, if I sold white sugar (which is not healthy by itself) I could put the word "natural" on the label since the white sugar came from beets.
This is why you see "Natural Flavors" on packages. Those natural flavors may have been chemically extracted, and chemical remains may even have leeched into the flavor, but they can still call them natural flavors because they came from something natural originally. So the whole "natural" product advertising is scam to rip off and fool stupid people. There's probably even "Natural" chlorine gas that one can buy - does that make "natural" chlorine gas safe to breath?
Open Letter To Health Food Stores and Food Companies:
Dear Food Company
If you are going to advertise your food as natural, please reconsider. The word "natural" is very vague and meaningless to intelligent people who have a clue. I do appreciate you encouraging the stupidity of humanity by using the word natural, so that I can see more naked women in health food stores... however, that advantage aside, please, stop using the phrase "natural". Be more specific, shall we?
Side note: it is not therefore harmful from a health perspective to buy food that is called "natural" on the label - but it is harmful to your brain, and wallet, if you think you are always getting more for your money by purchasing food with "natural" marked on the label. For example, you may be able to buy "Natural" peanut butter which contains just peanuts. That's fine - it won't do you any harm. But check the other peanut butter without "natural" on it - some peanut butter is not advertised as "natural" and it still contains just peanuts. Don't be fooled.
|
