When two people initially communicate (especially male and female) the communication is usually frequent to start off with. If good friendship is to come out of the communication then the communication will be fairly consistent and will even increase with time.. and then steady off with breaks in between.

However, the Taper Theory recognizes a pattern in communication breakdown. When person ABC does not wish to communicate further with person XYZ, a taper occurs. If person ABC is mannerly and emotional they will slowly "taper" the communication with person XYZ instead of abruptly cutting off or notifying the person that communication is to be broken.

For example at the end of a male/female relationship the Taper Theory (pattern) can be recognized when Joe starts calling or seeing Jane less often.

First Joe waits two days between calling Jane. He calls her. Next time, he waits three days, then calls. Then four days the next time. Then five, and calls. Then eight, and calls. Or eleven, and then eventually a couple of weeks. Slowly Jane gets the hint that Joe is reducing communication. This is a taper effect. They are still communicating, but why is it happening less and less? Why not just abruptly end it right now?

Eventually the progressive taper leads to a sharp point where no longer is there a taper but rather nothingness. But if caught right before the point, back to the strong part of the taper we go and communication succeeds again ... he calls or she calls just at the right time before one of them was going to assume communication was done for good.

All sharp points lead to nothingness, and this is a dangerous and sensitive area in communication, and on the trophy.

The communication is finally dropped completely when the taper reaches the point of nothingness, so when someone does not call for 10 years.... there is nothing left. When someone calls every day, it is in the thickest part of the shaft of the taper trophy (not very pleasurable but at least they are calling every day and giving some boring pleasure).

Sometimes a 'taper game' will be played between two people where each one competes for the taper trophy. The trophy is who can hold out in the taper the longest. For example in a relationship with two arrogant people one will wait a full week between making any contact with the lover. The lover instead of reacting abruptly to her partner after a week, will start a taper of her own to punish her partner. She waits two weeks the next time before calling him! This gets into a risky area, and one must be careful.. as the tip of the taper is very sensitive and points to emptiness if it tapers too far.

Take for example Jane who does not call Joe back for one complete week. Joe feels to punish Jane, he will now call her maybe in two weeks instead of immediately calling her every day. After two weeks when Joe calls Jane, Jane feels the need to punish Joe. Jane waits four or five weeks to call Joe. It goes on and on until eventually someone gives in and starts abruptly encouraging communication, or until someone reverses the taper and encourages communication incrementally. Alternatively, the communication is completely ended and the two never talk again after the taper has extended itself so far.

Another Example

The other end of the communication (person) may choose to skip a year of birthday mailings to punish the other for being so inconsiderate. Then they may skip next year, but return sending letters every five years. Then communication is reduced to once every ten years.

Finally, no more Christmas or holiday letters at all are sent between the two. Oddly enough, some times one person maintains sending the letters even though the other stopped 10 years ago. This can be known as a 'taper failure'. Someone tried to pull the taper on the other, but they didn't get the hint and kept on.

Taper Length

A simpler theory can sometimes be applied: the more taper, the less the person is interested. i.e. if the person does not call for a while, it must mean they are not interested? Well, the taper theory is not this simple. The narrow part of the taper can mean one is in a "hard to get" play zone (him or her not calling for a week.. making the partner drool in lust for more). This part of the taper is the most pleasurable in fact.

The shape of a taper represents the communication pattern. It resembles the theory well. See the picture of a taper if included in this article. At the tip of the taper, no one is communicating or there is very little communication.. but enough for it to still be there. At the thick shaft portion, this resembles lots of communication (daily phone calls, for example) - that is okay to be in the shaft area, but not really as fun as the lust area.. where one is made to wait longer. Less and less communication, but enough of it... is better than way too much communication (shaft portion, more contact.. but less lust and desire).

The taper allows certain play, fun, and games to occur in communication. A boring relationship stays in the fat part of the taper with lots of communication and no lust. A relationship nearing end stays in the thin part of the taper too long, so much that it leads to nothingness (all tapers are pointed and lead to just empty space or air). An interesting relationship sees or uses all parts of the taper. Someone calls often, then someone calls infrequently creating more lust. Someone calls often, then calls not so often. Back and forth, using all of the taper.

The taper trophy must be treated similarly - variety, not consistency. The trophy, is what you thought it was.. yes.