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Article Publishing
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~ unknown thesis movie |
Alternate working titles: "The Wall", "Theory On A Wall", "Brick Wall Theory"
A man goes for a hike and is depressed about his university education state of affairs, as he cannot think of a thesis. He is drinking on the hike, when it all appears to him inside his head. He is talking aloud down the trail drunken, with a physics theory.. He is so pissed drunk that he has to go to the washroom. He wants to go pee in the bush but is afraid of being caught for exposure of his private parts as there are people on the trail. He heads back to the public washroom where he parked, and he is very tipsy. He goes into the washroom to the urinal and sees some penned and penciled small short graffiti, which are vulgar and sexual comments.
While taking a piss in the urinal he decides to start writing his physics theory on the wall completely drunken, filling the entire wall up as high and low as he can reach. He adds mathematical equations to it, some which are missing a few variables but mostly complete (he is so drunk he cannot put together the exact equations, but puts most together perfectly with just a few details which need to be filled in). He is yelling and laughing while writing the theory down, but what he doesn't realize is that it will be one of the most important physics theories of this century. He even falls over on the ground and has to get up to continue writing.
He eventually leaves the washroom dizzy, and vomiting, and heads to his car. He realizes he is so smashed he will have to call a taxi as he obviously cannot drive home after drinking this much. The taxi comes and picks him up, and he leaves his car there.
When he gets home he heads right to bed after vomiting in the toilet.
When he wakes up in the morning, he has forgotten everything. "Where was I last night? I feel like complete shit, I must have been drunk somewhere" He has a few errands to run so he goes out to start his car, but his car is not there. "Where is my car? Oh damn it, why did I drink last night, I cannot remember a thing."
He does without a car for a few days and starts calling the tow away lots which store cars which have been towed for parking violations. Sure enough he finds out it was towed away for parking for more than a few days and over night in an area that does not allow it. He pays the fine and obtains his car.
At the washroom, which is fairly close to a university, a physics professor just so happens to go to the bathroom in it a few months later. The professor is startled and perplexed as he discovers this theory may have some serious significance, and does appear to be new work and a new area of exploration. He takes the theory home, copying it on to paper and works with the theory to find that it does have great significance.
A few weeks later on the news, he sees that a breakthrough theory in physics has been discovered, and that a professor "found it written on a washroom wall as graffiti, and does not know the author". He laughs, and says "ha ha that's funny, is this a joke?". He doesn't realize where the washroom is or that he was there, and does not realize the significance. A few days later he is looking for places to hike, and he is still depressed about his university state of affairs, as he does not know what thesis to write yet. He remembers something about a theory he had but cannot remember the details of it, only that it came to him when he was out for a hike somewhere, but why can't he remember it? He drives around to several hiking locations to try and refresh his memory of which trail he had some thoughts about a theory on. He visits about 12 different places wasting the whole day, until finally he arrives at this one location where there is a washroom where he parks. Something very strange and odd is going on because he says "wait, did I leave my car here? This was when I was drunk? Or am I remembering it wrong?". He rarely ever drinks while hiking as he has to drive home from the hike, but that one time he went crazy and pounded down beers like mad.
He goes for a hike and does not go into the washroom when he parks his car, yet, and tries to remember if this was the location and trail where he had some ideas. When he starts going down the trail some of it comes back to his head again... but he is missing a lot of details and doesn't know how to put the theory together again. He says "Why didn't I write this down on some paper, if it was a good theory, what was I doing here? I usually write down ideas that I think are winner ideas... Oh, that's write I was drunk so I probably never went home to write it down, it just was something I was thinking of on the trail." He is depressed again as he can't remember an idea he had, and heads back pissed off down the trail. He realizes that he has to go to the washroom since he had some water before he went for this hike and it is now ready in his bladder for release. He heads to the bush to take a leak, when he starts to remember something very strange. "Wait, I didn't think it was a good idea to take a leak in the bush - I'm starting to remember something about this that feels very creepy.." He heads back to the washroom to take a leak instead of taking it in the bush. When he enters the washroom, and he sees the urinal wall, he has a startled look on his face (queue creepy music, scene similar to Beautiful Mind movie when the shed is found with all his schizophrenic notes, thousands of them, posted on the walls). He starts reading the urinal wall and says "this is mine, I wrote this because I didn't have any paper and was plastered shit drunk". He finds some of the missing variables in some equations and missing details, looks at the wall carefully, and starts slowly filling in a few details.
He does not put two and two together and realize that on the news a physicist found this theory on this wall. He gets some paper and starts transferring the theory to looseleaf. He knows that this is big work, as theory seems to add up and make a lot of sense mathematically and physically. After transferring the theory to paper he works on it further at home and takes it to his university to ask about doing this theory for his thesis. The university professor immediately recognizes the theory and says "this is that theory that the professor and such and such university found on a wall? Is this your theory? No one has found out who wrote that or why they wrote that on the wall". He says "I wrote it because I was plastered shit drunk and keeling over, and didn't have any paper when I was on for a hike. I don't generally drink when hiking, so I have no idea what was going through my mind having that many beers, and I could not even remember I wrote that theory on the wall until I revisited the scene weeks later, only to discover I did in fact write my theory down but not on paper - I did vandalism to a bathroom property, and vandalized it with physics and mathematics."
They compare his handwriting on the wall to his regular writing to verify it really is his work, even though they trust that it is, because no one else has claimed ownership of it, and he likely wouldn't lie about such an absurd, and ridiculous event - they also know that he does love hiking that trail, although he hikes all the trails in the area. Plus, he knows how to add more details to the theory and knows everything about it by heart, as if he literally invented the theory - which he did.
On the news again they announce that they have discovered the author of the "theory on the wall, and it includes these vulgar sex comments" since the sex comments were from someone else which he wrote over top of.
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