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~ people have fantasies they do not want true |
People have fantasies they think they want true, so badly that the lust is so strong they almost go after these fantasies. The perfect example is to become a rock star.
Then the person becomes one, and kills himself or is killed (Jim Morrison, John Bonham) or their life is so chaotic that people have a hard time telling if it was a murder or suicide (Bonham, Morrison, Kurt Cobain).
i.e. originally the fantasy is so strong, and life would be so much better if you could just "make it", become a top 10 song musician, and then you'd be happy: you'd have plenty of financial security, you could even quit at any time since you banked so much money in your young 20's, and you could run off happily.
Yet, all these fantasies never (or rarely) actually come true: indeed parts of the fantasy are implemented. Oh, yes, indeed you made the top 10 songs on the radio, but... then a few years later, well, if this top ten musician died of a medication overdose mixed with alcohol, or "drowned in a bath tub with lots of drugs in his system", and you can't even tell whether it was a suicide, accident, or a murder, and they died in their late 20's or early 30's, or even 40's... was their life really that great? Was this ever part of the original fantasy?
Now let's say they don't end up dying and they do make it through: imagine your life constantly having to book road trips and air trips across the world, paranoid that if you aren't prepared for the concert you'll make a mistake and make a fool out of your entire band on stage: you probably puke before each concert or have the feeling in your gut if you don't puke anyway, something very similar. This is supposed to be happiness?
Full respect to musicians, I love them: but do I envy their lifestyle? Not necessarily, but sort of.
This is just one extreme example of the fantasy that everyone has (almost a cliche: become a famous rockstar or actor). However consider even more basic fantasies: you want to become a business owner that makes a 6 figure income, nothing special, nothing super famous, not a celebrity or rock star: just a $100,000 or $200,000 salary, so you are financially secure. Until you realize, that once you implement your fantasy (to your surprise it actually comes true) you have little to no time for anything else in life, as you are so focused on your income earning, and you are busy busy busy, just as the word "business" has the root word of, busy... And you have a never ending accounting nightmare, constantly concerning yourself of your expenses and all the paper work with the inventory for your business (or whatever business model you run, if it's not inventory based it's some other accounting paperwork). Maybe you are a plumber and now you are so busy that you have the stress of having to hire other workers since you have so much business you can't take it on yourself. Then you have to start filing all sorts of paperwork with the IRS/CRA or government to pay staff, and you never wished this was the case because a few months ago you just paid yourself a good wage of 50,000K per year and did all the jobs yourself, but now that you got what you wished for, you are earning 200K a year and have to hire other people and have 3 times the paperwork. The fantasy was there, and now that you implemented the fantasy, is it really what the fantasy was supposed to be: this perfect life of success? Now your business is so busy that you have little time for the walks you used to take every night, so you cut those out, and you get fat.
Indeed it could all work out perfectly just as the fantasy demanded in the beginning when you brain went off into a mind wander... Many people wish to be like a famous rockstar, or a famous business person. Or a famous athlete: that pukes before races, and if they pull one muscle or make one mistake their entire career is on the line. Really? Is it a fantasy, or a fantasy masquerading as a nightmare? Or is it a fantasy/nightmare combination, almost a quantum superposition of a fantasy and nightmare all in one, like a horrid implementation of Vanilla Sky in a bit of a different light?
I'm not trying to discourage fantasies: fantasies are likely the only thing keeping people going, in a shit universe full of bad people, and bad setups, and bad outcomes. The fantasy is strong. Just be careful that when the fantasy is actually successful, all of your own implementation, that it's really the fantasy you hoped for.
You wish all your life, as a band member of an infamous group that's not successful, playing music for no money (losing money on some out goings), with a large grand piano that you play, that some day you will make it big. Then you make it big, and you realize that you are going to have to hire a fucking semi truck to haul around your piano, and air lift it to every concert, because it is the only piano that works for you - then you realize, the piano is the least of your worries, even though you have to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars each year just on the logistics of your fucking piano. This is the smallest issue you face, even though it is a big issue.... Wiping off vomit on the piano is the next minor issue, because when you unload the semi truck that carries it to multiple concerts each year, every time before the concert starts you feel that butterfly in your stomach and you know where you are, how successful you are, and how much pressure there is on you. But then the big issues face you, bigger than the grand piano. You had the fantasy, you got what you wished for, and now you are sitting in a pile of success, still wondering what happiness is, or why you even had that particular fantasy, let alone the balls (or eggs) to go through with it.
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