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Article Publishing
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~ github mathematica movie |
A computer programmer intends to bring Mathematics to github. Github is for source code, so why not github for mathematics.
He comes up with a new mathematical theory that all computer data compression technology is a branch of mathematics, and all compressed data can be explained using mathematical equations only.
Scenes: restaraunt: he takes multiple menu items and turns them into pure numbers (not text). Leaves sheet behind. Waitress sees sheet, and happens to be taking mathematics at university. She shows her mathematics professor the sheet that he left at the restaurant. The professor is confused, as he understands that the text of the menu can all be turned into numbers, but why? For what purpose. They do not understand that the goal is to compress text using equations (any number can be compressed or shortened into an extremely terse mathematical equation, therefore if all text is numbers, all text can be compressed into extremele short mathematical equations, likely far smaller than any zip/rar/tar compression mechanism.. The power of mathematics is far greater than trial and error compression methods for text: that is his theory).
The main character makes several visits to the restaraaunt, and he sits outside on the patio. The waitress sees him one time with his laptop and he has his github page open. He has no idea that she is interested in what he is doing. She oversees his github account page and a github project name. She writes it down. When she goes home she studies the project and finds out that he is interested in compression, and starting a branch of mathematics based on compression of data. She takes the scrap paper to the university professor again and now they understand what the reason for turning the menu text into numbers is all about.
The waitress was having trouble deciding what to major in so she takes a shot at mathematics. The main character's github account has an example that compresses data which beats rar/zip/tar compression using pure mathematical equations (converted to a computer program using math units available in multiple programming languages). She finds this example and sees that he has already beat the compression methods on the market with his mathematical theory. Being the brave woman she is (she is good at mathematics but does not know if she wants to major in it), she tries to find a set of equations which will further reduce the size of data, even further than the main character's compression method. However she will need the university professors help. This helps her decide what she might major in as she finds it fascinating, and hopes the professor will let her do a thesis on "mathematical equations as compression".
She works with the professor and they find a set of equations which will compress data massively, possibly even more than the main character's compression method. As the main character has uploaded his equation compression method to github, he in no way is keeping this a secret: he openly asks on his github page for others to contribute and beat his own compression method, so he will not feel threatened if someone comes up with a better (more compressed) way of mathematically compressing data. The waitress is romantically interested in the main character and he does not know it.
The next time she goes to work she wants to ask him out. She gets a T-Shirt custom made that says "compress me" on it and brings it to work to surprise him, hoping he will show up one day as he frequents that restaurant. She and her professor have come up with a set of equations that do in fact beat his equation method of compression, after about a month of hard work and research. The day she wears the shirt "compress me" is the day she discovers, with her professor (most of the work hers though, with only the professor advising her) the equations that compress data more than the main character's. She submits a github pull requests (he doesn't know it is her) the evening she has the set of equations ready. The next morning he happens to show up at the restaurant with his laptop, and she wears the "compress me" t-shirt. He doesn't notice it as he is heavily focused on his laptop and barely looks at her when she is serving him. She tries to get his attention but he is aspergers like and more interested in his equations. She walks away and sends him an "issue" on github "did you get my pull request?" . She is in the kitchen when sending this issue to him. He responds to the issue "yes, I was very impressed with the fact that you came up with more equations to compress data, but I have not had a chance to run in through yet, I will do it this evening, I have an appointment right now and have to get there". She says to herself "is he lying? he is at the restaurant, he does not have an appointment". She responds back to his issue "these equations I have come up with are extremely important as they are going to be my university thesis project in mathematics, do you really have an appointment or are you avoiding looking at the equations for some reason?" he responds "No I really have to get going I can't look at them until this evening or this afternoon, I am really excited you have submitted this pull request, thank you very much. I am at a restaraunt right now and have to leave for my appointment just a few doors down". He gets up from the table and leaves the restaurant. She says "Oh I guess he isn't lying." as she sees him leave and he walks to his appointment on the same block. He never did see her "compress me" t-shirt that she had specially made.
Later that afternoon he feels it is urgent he looks at her pull request (he does not wait until the evening), and sees that the equations do indeed compress the data a significant amount more than his set of equations, but there is no program to uncompress the data back - it just compresses it. So he writes a program to uncompress the data using her set of equations and returns to the restaurant (it has internet access since it is an internet cafe) and completes the uncompression program at the cafe. She walks up to him "what are you doing on your laptop Mr.". He says "working on completing someone's github pull request if you must know". She says "hmph. Oh really. They didn't complete it for you?" He looks at her puzzled "No, but it's great work, the best work I have seen, better than my own set of equations. Why, are you a github user too?". She says "maybe" and walks away. She passes by him again looking at his laptop screen wondering what she didn't "complete" and she sees a program on his screen with "uncompress data" as a title. She walks away and says to herself "I sent him the compression algorithm and equations, but he needs also the uncompression program too, shit". She passes by him again and his program has a progress bar and is almost complete in progress, but is a bit slow, as after all it is uncompressing a large amount of data.
She walks by him again and says "okay I am just going to ask you out on a date, are you going to go out on a date with me?".. He pauses, and is puzzled, and is waiting for the program to uncompress the data using her equations with a program he wrote based on her equations which she used to compress the data, that he is using now to uncompress the data. He says "uhm, yes sure, I am sorry I am just really busy with this program, this is really important. Yes I will go on a date, just give me a moment here and we will make a date. Sure." He has no idea she is the github user who sent him the pull request.
They go on a date and it goes well. She has two shirts on, one to cover up the "compress me" shirt underneath. It goes so well that they go home together and are making out. She says to him "I need you to put me up against the wall for a second". He puts her up against the wall and she says "I need you to compress me". He is puzzled.. and leans up against her. "I need you to really compress me" she says. He compresses her up against the wall, holding her tight and compressing her against the wall. He says "have you been looking at the programs on my laptop at the cafe?".. She takes her shirt off to reveal the "compress me" shirt underneath, and now they are really into each other slamming each other against the wall in a rough manner; obviously the two are extremely attracted to each other. He sees the "compress me" shirt that she has on and again compresses her hard up against the wall. He says "where did you get this shirt?"
She finally says to him "I submitted the pull request to your github, and I had this shirt specially made just to turn you on". He says "what?". They both pause looking at each other directly in the eyes. He thinks about it for about 10 seconds, with a puzzled look and a squint in his eyes.. "You submitted the pull request and have been stalking my laptop activities at the cafe?" she says "yes", and they have sex.
After they make love she says "are you affiliated with any university? If you are not, I would like you to work with me on some mathematical papers that will be published in journals, my university professor says they are definitely something that would get published, as you have discovered a new branch of mathematics, and I have already worked on some of these papers but would love to have your name on them as you deserve credit for coming up with the idea". He says "I am a programmer, I am not a mathematics major, but I would love to work with you on mathematics and publish these papers". He works with her and the professor and now he is involved with mathematics at a deep enough level to be affiliated with a university, without signing up for the university - as this branch of mathematics is his ticket into a university, without him ever applying to be at this university. The professor knows this work will succeed in mathematics and helps the two (waitress and main character) through the publishing process to get their articles accepted.
Movie scene: he is walking down the street, and converts a business name to numbers, and sees the business name as a number. He mumbles to himself some powers, to convert the business name to numbers which he then turns into equations on a pad of paper. Then he looks around the street at all the businesses, scanning the entire street, and every business name is a unique number, and he has imagery of all the business name text logos on buildings as numbers. He walks into a book store, grabs a book, opens it, and imagines the entire book as a number - all the text inside the book is just numbers to him. He closes the book, picks up another book, and looks at the back of the book: the summary of the book on the back, turns into numbers, in his head. The staff in the book store walks up to him and says "are you looking for anything in particular? I can help you find it" He says "every book is a number, and can be represented by a set of equations". And he walks out of the store. The staff says "well that's an interesting way of looking at it, never thought of it that way". He goes home to write an article about how all books, if can be converted into numbers, can all be represented as part of the number system, therefore all books can be written (or one can come across every single book ever written) by incrementing a number. 99.999 percent of numbers represent incomprehensible gibberish, but every once in a while a magic number comes up in the incrementation program which produces a beautiful fiction or non fiction book. A single magic number can produce a book, and vice versa. Books can be converted to numbers, and numbers can be converted to books. Since books can be represented as numbers, they can also be represented as a set of equations which shorten the book significantly (text compression). With the right set of equations, any book can be shortened to a minimal terse equation that makes the book miniscule, and these terse set of equations can be sent over a data line, phone line, or stored on a flash card or CD ROM or DVD disc, which is significantly smaller than the book itself. Compression is mathematics. Mathematics is compression: all equations are just compressed or uncompressed versions of other data. As an example, some fractions represent on paper, very long and drawn out numbers that take pages to write out in their number form: but the fraction itself is a terse, compressed, and fully understandable expression or compressed version of that long and drawn out number. A number that has a power, is a compressed version of the actual number result when that powered number is expanded. Some numbers that are powered would literally take an entire book to write out the actual number they represent, if not an entire library of books: yet a small terse shortform x to the power of y explains and represents that data in only a few characters or bytes on paper or on a hard drive.
Movie scene: what can these mathematical theories of data compression and equations be used for in the real world? Video games are getting larger and larger: downloads can still take hours or days to complete since many video game files are multi gigabytes large. Video games only get larger and larger in data size over time and internet speeds still cannot keep up, nor can DVD's keep up with the size required to store a video game. The main character and the waitress decide that there is a big commercial need for data compression which will offer great financial opportunities and business ventures. Any mathematical theory that has practical uses, is far greater of significance and importance than a mathematical theory that has no practical real world use. To work on a mathematical theory that has practical implementations in all sorts of industries is an extremely fulfilling and exciting experience, because the theorist is not just in theoretical "la la" land; his theory affects the real world in profound ways. Video games are just one area where compression is needed to send large gigabyte data streams over an internet pipe: companies with big data (search engines) need to compress millions of gigabytes of data and store it. Any where big data is a concern, efficient and new compression mechanisms are needed. Any where efficient compression mechanisms are needed, anywhere the mathematical data compression theory applies.
Movie scene: bringing mathematics to github: this mathematical data compression theory is just the beginning; all sorts of mathematics work and math theories can be uploaded to github. Why is github just a place for source code? Why is it not also a place for open source mathematics, open source hardware? Source code for computers is just the beginning. If github is not prepared to store mathematics on its servers, the main character says "I will start a Github Mathematica, a git server for mathematicians and alike."... "But for now, I'm sure Github will be accommodating, as, we all know computer programs are a branch of mathematics themselves, therefore everything on github already contains mathematics to significant levels - but if github gets picky and doesn't want pure mathematics projects on their servers...then we'll either have a discussion that there is not a single computer program that does not have some pure mathematics in it somewhere, or, like I said, I, or we, will start a github mathematica server"
Songs:
- High Compression (blues song, by band, High Compression)
- Compression band (metal, Greg Scelsi is the singer)
- Billy Sheehan - Compression (2001), Perfect Groove, What Once Was, Three Days Blind (most songs on album are really good)
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