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Borland Please Stop Using Buzzwords

"In more tightly aligning software delivery efforts with the goals of the overall enterprise, IT organizations must focus on managing the perennial constraints of delivering quality software within schedule, scope, and budget amidst constant change."

Constant Change?

Is a constant change even possible...A constant is the opposite of change. Oxymoron?

No offence to Borland, but the website is full of buzzword bingo. What in the world they are talking about is beyond me. I guess it's enterprises and project managers that fall for that stuff.

"In more :buzzword phrase: software delivery efforts with the goals of the :buzzword phrase: , :overused term: organizations must focus on managing the :buzzword phrase: of delivering quality software within schedule, :buzzword:, and budget :buzzword contradiction phrase:."

How about "Application Lifecycle Management"? Well, first of all, quality software shouldn't have a "life". If software does have a life, this is bad (anything with a life must die. Because all living things die). Many software projects never die: they just continue on and upgrade and change. Using the phrase "Application Lifecycle Management" implies that the software will live and die. That's a scary thought. That means it's time to ditch your project and move on to another one. Successful projects are never ditched. Successful software projects should last for years and years, being upgraded and continuing on for possibly decades or even hundreds of years (if we have software in hundreds of years).

Software is not like a living being, so it should not be compared to "life" or a "cycle". A cycle is a bad thing. A Cycle is a fad. A cycle means constantly throwing your software in the garbage for a new one. it means replacing your underwear because it is too dirty to wear, replacing your tampon, etc. These are all bad things. Application Lifecycle Management is simply a buzzword for "software development". Yes, it's as simple as "software development". That's all it is. But the phrase just doesn't ring a good bell with people who think about "life" and "cycle" deeply.

The other problem with the buzzphrase is the idea of managing a life. Lives are not managed in a controllable manner. Lives are automated and no one can manage them like they can manage software. Managing a software project is possible, but managing a life or a lifecycle is not possible to great extents. You can manage your life or your dog's life to a certain extent, but it is not the type of management you want to have in software development. You want to control your software with godlike powers. That's not a life cycle, that is more like a miracle. If a living being gets cancer, you can't manage that very well at all. That's life. Live and die. If software gets a virus, you can manage that. It's not life. It does not live and die. Projects that are bad have lives, they die.

Software is not a living thing and should not be compared to one. Software should not go through cycles and fads. Software should be long term and robust. And the fact is, Delphi was/is a long term and robust project. So it's not as if Borland is actually practicing "lifecycle management". They have just made the mistake of thinking so, due to not studying the difference between software and living things.

Instead of using the phrase "application lifecycle management", which implies a fad or short term gimmick, they could have just used a phrase such as "quality software development". But could you please then go on and explain what makes your software high quality and what features or stability you have introduced into your latest products? Other wise the buzz phrase doesn't have any weight.

Look, there is nothing wrong with "Rapid Application Development". It's direct and simple. It means that I can build my applications rapidly. It would have been better if quality was mentioned within that phrase, because some people assume "rapid" means low quality. But Rapid Application Development is at least not a vague phrase like "application lifecycle management". All software companies participate in software development, so all software companies contain "application lifecycle management". So why would I buy into ALM, if it is such a vague and meaningless phrase?

How to pick out a buzzword from an honest word? Ask someone to define the phrase you are interested in. If, after asking more than one person, you do not get a consistent and straight answer, it is most likely a buzzword or buzzphrase.

Borland Software Corp.'s chief technology officer is calling it quits after five years with the company.

I see, that must be what we would call "Employee Lifecycle Management".

See also: Buzzwords, Buzzphrase

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